Masochism is a term more commonly used in everyday life in relation to the enjoyment of challenging hobbies like marathon running or mountain climbing, but have you ever considered if you are also masochistic in the bedroom?
For those unfamiliar with masochism, it’s understandable to wonder how pain can feel pleasurable.
From a physiological perspective, however, pain and pleasure engage many of the same neural pathways in the brain, making them more closely connected than they may initially seem.
As noted in a feature by Medical News Today: “Pleasure and pain are both tied to the interacting dopamine and opioid systems in the brain, which regulate neurotransmitters that are involved in reward- or motivation-driven behaviours, which include eating, drinking, and sex.”
So what is a masochist, and could you be one?
In a sexual context, a masochist is someone who receives sexual gratification through pain, humiliation, and self-denial.
This is a healthy and consensual form of BDSM play that can range from pinching, slapping, burning sensations, nipple clamps, flogging, and spanking, all the way to hot wax play.
However, it's worth noting that everyone has different fantasies, and as such, this definition may leave something to be desired.
Psychological and sexual masochism are similar, and while in the sexual sphere, there are strict limits of when this gratification plays out, the psychological masochist’s gratification is often demonstrated through difficulty setting healthy boundaries and patterns of self-sacrificing behaviour to “save” others that are tied to feelings of victimhood, martyrdom, and self-punishment.
Sexual masochism has commonly been misunderstood as a disorder, yet 40-70% of adults report experiencing BDSM related fantasies, and 20% are already engaging in BDSM activities.
It’s therefore important to note that being a masochist is not inherently unhealthy; however, if it begins to impact personal relationships, work, or your mental health, it’s advisable to seek additional support.
The National Coalition of Sexual Freedom is a great place to find kink-aware counsellors, and Fetlife offers a community of like-minded individuals with dedicated discussion boards on kink-aware therapy.
Would you like to find out more? Why not take the official BDSM test to learn more about your kinky side! Even if you’re not a masochist, you could be dominant, submissive, or something else entirely… BDSM Test - The Original BDSM & Kink Test
Written by Leah Marie Cox
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