'I’m the kind of woman men write horror stories about'

I've always been fascinated by women who inspire a little fear. The gothic heroines who wander around crumbling mansions in silk nightgowns. The femme fatales who enter a room and somehow make every man forget what he was saying, or the Morticia Addams who have their man wrapped around their finger.

They're not necessarily evil. They're just not particularly interested in shrinking themselves so everyone else feels comfortable.

And I think there's something worth reclaiming in being a little frightening, mainly that men need it in their lives more than you might think. There’s a reason Gomez would kill for Morticia, and it’s not because she’s a bitch to him.

Because here’s the thing: women in horror are not frightening because they’re unpredictable or unkind; it’s because their boundaries are stern, and their self-worth doesn't collapse depending on others.

Consider Wednesday Addams, for example. She doesn’t seek male validation or care about it; she’s perfectly fine with solitude, and she sets clear boundaries: she won't be hugged.

Most importantly, she can’t be controlled, a trait many female horror characters share.

Why do men need this kind of femininity in their lives? Why might a man pursue a woman who won't bend to his expectations, whose attention he cannot take for granted and who might walk away if he treats her badly?

The answer lies in a complicated mixture of attraction, autonomy, psychology and power. And there is one distinction worth making from the beginning: men don't universally need a woman they cannot control, but some men are particularly attracted to women whose independence challenges them.

A woman who knows what she enjoys, expresses her opinions and pursues her interests brings an identity of her own into a relationship.

She isn't merely waiting for a man to give her life direction.

This can create a more interesting partnership because both people contribute ideas, experiences and perspectives.

Another reason it brings a healthy dynamic to the relationship is that when a man recognises that a woman has standards and will not remain in a relationship indefinitely if she is unhappy, he may become more conscious of how he treats her.

So, yeah… I’m more than happy being the kind of woman men write horror stories about.

Written by VavaViolet Magazine’s Founder and Editor-in-Chief, Sophie Blackman