A VavaViolet Magazine reader has written in, asking dating expert James Preece if her Halloween date has moved on from his ex or not.
One VavaViolet Magazine reader wrote to James: "I agreed to a Halloween date with a guy I’d been chatting to for weeks.
"We went to a horror maze, had drinks afterwards and ended up kissing in the taxi home.
"He told me he hadn’t felt this excited about anyone in years and has since been messaging me constantly, talking about future dates and joking that I’m his future wife.
"It should be romantic, but I’ve noticed that he mentions his ex in almost every conversation.
"He compares our personalities, tells me what she did wrong and even admitted that he chose our Halloween date because it was somewhere he used to take her.
"He insists he’s completely over her, but I’m worried I’m being cast as the replacement in someone else’s love story."
Question for James: How soon is too soon to date after a breakup, and what signs suggest someone is genuinely ready to move on?
James' answer:
This sounds like he is really enjoying getting to know, but he doesn't have anything than his past experiences with his ex to relate to.
He's being too keen too quickly, which might mean he's a bit needy.
Slow things down and set boundaries now so he knows it's not acceptable to keep bringing up his ex.
If you want to make it work, then you both need to create new memories together.
Dating again after a breakup can depend on how long the relationship was, if it was expected or not and how close the couple were.
For some, a couple of weeks can be enough to start again, but for others it can months. If someone is ready, they won't talk about previous relationships or put the pressure on - they will go with the flow and enjoy the ride.
It doesn't mean they won't be nervous or make mistakes, so allow a little leeway to just see how they make you feel over time.
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