Three things you should never do before having sex, according to a doctor

Great sex is about more than chemistry. What you do before intimacy can seriously affect comfort, consent, pleasure, and even your health. While there’s plenty of advice online about how to “set the mood,” doctors say some habits are better left out of the bedroom entirely.

From too many cocktails to questionable hygiene trends, here are three things you should never do before having sex — and what to do instead.

1. Don’t Get Drunk

A glass of wine might help calm nerves, but overdoing alcohol before sex can backfire fast.

According to sexual health experts, alcohol can impair judgment, reduce arousal, make it harder to orgasm, and interfere with erections or natural lubrication. It can also make communication and consent less clear, which is one of the biggest concerns doctors have around mixing sex and heavy drinking.

“People often think alcohol improves sex because it lowers inhibitions,” says many sexual health professionals, “but physiologically, it usually reduces sexual function.”

Heavy drinking is also linked to riskier sexual behaviour, including forgetting condoms or ignoring boundaries.

Do this instead:

Stick to moderation, stay hydrated, and make sure everyone involved is fully comfortable and able to communicate clearly.

2. Don’t Use Harsh Soaps, Douches, or “Feminine Hygiene” Products

Despite what advertising may suggest, your body does not need to smell like flowers before sex.

Doctors consistently warn against douching or using heavily scented washes, sprays, and cleansers on intimate areas. These products can disrupt the vagina’s natural bacterial balance, increase irritation, and even raise the risk of infections.

Over-cleansing can also dry out sensitive skin, making sex more uncomfortable rather than more enjoyable.

Do this instead:

Warm water and gentle external cleansing are enough. If you’re regularly worried about odour or irritation, it’s better to speak to a doctor than to try to “fix” it with perfumed products.

3. Don’t Ignore Consent and Sexual Health Conversations

It may not sound sexy, but doctors say one of the worst things couples can do before sex is avoid talking altogether.

Skipping conversations about boundaries, STI testing, contraception, or protection can create confusion and unnecessary risk. Experts recommend discussing comfort levels and safer sex before things become heated.

Consent should always be clear, enthusiastic, and ongoing — especially if alcohol is involved.

Do this instead:

Be direct. Talk openly about protection, preferences, and boundaries. Confidence and communication are far more attractive than assumptions.