I’m nowhere near ready to “settle down” and refuse to let society dictate when I get married and have children. Why? Because I have a list of people I want to fuck first, as well as nine other reasons. I’m just not done being a feral rat.
I love the freedom that comes from being single. I adore talking to whoever I want to, going anywhere at any time that I want, and not having to think of others’ feelings.
That’s not to say that I’m ever against settling down - I can’t wait to meet someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, I just have a few things to do first…
Sleep with 100 people
It may seem strange, but I love the thrill of fucking someone new, and I’m not ready to give that up in all honesty.
My current body count is 50, so I have a long way to go.
I want to live alone first
Before I fall in love, I’d like to live alone for at least a year. I want to decorate every room however I want and enjoy the process.
I don’t want to have to share or look at someone else’s idea of interior design.
I’m not done smoking weed
Ideally, I’d like to have given up cannabis when I get into my forever relationship, but it’s a habit I’m just not ready to part with.
Saying that, smoking turns me on, so I’m not sure if my future husband would want me to pack it in.
I need to get back in shape
This time last year, I was in the shape of my life, but I have admittedly let myself go a bit.
Going on antipsychotics after suffering from psychosis made me put on a bit of weight, so I want to lose that first.
My standards are evolving
I’m no longer impressed by potential. I want consistency, emotional maturity, and effort — and I’m not lowering the bar just to speed up the timeline.
I used to be into guys my age, but now I like an older man. Genuinely, they treat you better.
I’m enjoying my independence a little too much
Making decisions alone feels powerful. I like building my life without negotiating every detail.
I want to pick what dog breed I get, where I live, and what I do with my time.
I want to meet him as a choice, not a rescue
I don’t want to need him to feel whole. I want to want him because life is already good — and he makes it better.
I’m not saying I’m waiting for my life to be “perfect” as that will never be the case, I just want to be settled in myself and ways.
I refuse to settle under pressure
Society loves a deadline. I prefer alignment. Love shouldn’t feel like a race.
The stubborn woman in me refuses to be told what to do and when.
Because timing matters
When it’s right, I won’t feel rushed, pressured, or unprepared. I’ll feel steady.
And I want to recognise him from a place of readiness — not hesitation.
I’m still healing old patterns
I don’t want to bring unresolved lessons into a new chapter.
Growth deserves completion, not repetition.
Written by VavaViolet Magazine’s Founder and Editor-in-Chief, Sophie Blackman
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